I feel bad for the boys sometimes. We ask them for help reading putts, but then we scowl at them if the read is wrong. Hank Haney, I mean my husband, has always had a policy of keeping his mouth shut when we play. He usually sticks to this theory, but he can stray. When I was first learning to play he was very quiet. He thought it was best that I listen only to my pro. Now his advice is much more free flowing.
We have established a policy of, “If I ask, you can tell.” In other words, if I want your advice I will ask for it, otherwise keep your trap shut. I do ask for help some days. Especially when I’m having difficulty with driver. Often he can remind me of one small thing that helps me get my act back together (shift weight, follow through, yadda, yadda, yadda).
I find it funny that the better golfer I become, the more advice he wants to offer. I’m much pickier about my golf shots now, so if one goes slightly astray he often says, “do you want to know what you are doing?” To me that translates as, “that was a terrible shot and I can help your sorry a## if you would just let me.” I know the boys mean well, but sometimes it’s best to just let us learn from our own mistakes.
My friend Susan was playing with her husband one afternoon. In the middle of her back swing her husband asked her what club she was using. She stopped her swing—in a very Tiger-esque way—turned to her hubbie, put the club in his face and said, “It’s my shut-up club!” I think every gal ought to have a “shut up” club in her bag—just in case.
Friday, September 5, 2008
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5 comments:
BRILLIANT!!!!! I walk on as a single ALOT - at least once a week and am 99.9% of the time paired with men. I have a fairly decent game and most of the men are very nice and delightful to play with. BUT, every now and then, I get one of those men who just can't NOT give me tips. Totally unsolicited and usually right after they've hooked their shot into the woods or screwed up a bunker shot or three-putted. I usually use this as an exercise to practice my "tuning out" skills. Sometimes, I need the exact right thing to say and now I have it: Dude, I think I'll use my Shut Up club on this shot!!!!!!!
Be assured the Shut Up club is not gender specific--it works on women too. Keep it around whenever you need it!
I never give advice. Even when asked. I've found that when most people ask for advice, they're only hoping you agree with what they've already decided.
In my family, the first time someone gives unsolicited advice it's a warning. Next time, $5 fine; each time after that, the fine doubles. We've never actually had to levy a fine - the warning is always sufficient!! As for strangers who give me advice (and the good players never do this) I often say, "You know, if we were playing a match I would have to call a penalty on you for giving advice." That always shuts them right up.
Heather, the problem with your theory is that the answer to a woman fixing a problem with her golf swing is usually to go buy a new pair of shoes or a new outfit. :-D (ducking)
I rarely ask for advice or observations on a single missed shot. It has to be a trend that I can't seem to fix by going in the complete opposite direction (bad slice - close up and force a draw or hook, or vice versa) Otherwise, one bad swing was just that - one bad swing.
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