Ode to a Crappy Winter's Day

I guess I felt uninspired downtrodden yesterday. So I share with you this little poem, entitled “Ode to a Crappy Winter’s Day.” For all you Floridians, I would like to report that the rotation at the course today was East-West North.


Ode to a Crappy Winter’s Day
By Heather Jones

I grew up in Minnesota, so snow should be my friend,
but on this winter day I wish the snow would end.

I used to like to ski and skate in freshly fallen snow,
Now I dream of warm places I would love to go.

The New Farmer’s Almanac said this winter would be bad,
But the extra snow is beginning to drive me quite mad.

The golf course has disappeared under a blanket of white,
I remember how it looked when the sun shone bright.

The frosty fairways roll along with no sign of a green,
The kids are home too much and think I’m getting mean.

The deer are all huddled where the men’s tee box used to be,
I dream of sunset rounds with a strong martini.

I can’t head to Florida like my many snowbird friends,
Vacations are on hold until the school year ends.

I should be in Orlando working the PGA golf show.
My eye surgery kept me here buried in snow.

I’ll find some sun and golf when Spring break finally rolls around.
A mere eight weeks to see the Calibogue Sound.

I would work on my swing, but the driving range is shut down.
Cars are spinning and sliding on all sides of town.

I haven’t seen a plow in sight, so home is where I’ll stay,
Warming by my fireplace with my chardonnay.

I feel the heat of the flames and remember the summer sun.
I truly can’t wait for this (crappy) winter to be done.

I’ll dream of fairways and greens when I snuggle in tonight.
Just maybe the snow will end with tomorrow's morning light.

Or maybe it will end if I shut my eyes real tight.