After my match at Scioto Country Club last week I made the social faux pas of the century. My golfing gal pal and I unabashedly walked directly into the center of the men's grill looking for something to eat. I wish I could say this was a deliberate act of defiance, but it wasn't. We simply meandered into the first door we found as we walked off the course.The room went silent. Several 70 year-old heads almost popped off like champagne corks after seeing the sight of two gals in the men's only grill. The host greeted us with a Medusa smile, "Can I help you?"
We explained we were looking for our friends and he said, "You need to leave." Still not realizing what we had done, we turned towards what appeared to be a giant lobby leading to another restaurant. "You can't go in there either," our new friend yelled, "that is the men's locker room!" Oops!
We left the testosterone
***
I have nothing against men-only grills. Honestly, it keeps all the stinky cigars and boys in one confined pigpen. I really have no desire to join a group of men that wants to be left alone in the men's grill. Nor do I fault them for wanting their own space. HOWEVER, I have a serious problem with the ladies alternatives to most men's grills.
My course has a "ladies card room." It has uncomfortable chairs, hideous wall fabric (not wallpaper), and tables that are too small. I could live with all that, but where is the beer on tap? How about a comfy couch or two? I'd like a plasma TV too, thank you very much.
I have mentioned my suggestions to the powers that be at our course. I remember one of the golf pros saying to me, "So, you basically want a girl's stag room." Yes, I do. Is that too much to ask? They get to hang out in a well equipped lounge while we have to sit in straight back chairs in a room that looks like we should all be wearing white gloves. No thank you!
I hope there are some wonderful "ladies only" lounges out there. Please invite me to play at one of these courses someday so I know it can be done properly. Better yet, send me photos so I can post them and prove it exists. After all, real women deserve a tap beer too.
Posts
12 comments:
Ha! I was at one of the munis in the SFV and went into the restaurant after a round. Mind you - there was not a segregated option. I played with three guys and when I walked in you would have thought I called everyone a horrible name. There were nothing but men inside and they all gave me the stink eye something fierce. Fortunately, you cannot smoke inside such a place in California so there was none of that to deal with. However, I was very interested in a cold one and the baseball game on the screen. Is that a crime? I think not. At least the bartender was happy to see me.
And yes, the women's facilities aren't so spiffy around here either.
Well, I guess the only good part of the story is that since you're not a member there, you won't have to continue to put up with the antiquated surroundings. Sadly, those ladies who are members, are not getting there due's worth of equal amenities.
I wish those old anachronistic "men's only" areas would go the way of the horse and buggy and the telegraph -- all into obsolescence for better things in a supposedly more enlightened time.
After all, if women are now welcome in strip clubs (many advertise it!) then why not a grill in the clubhouse? Silly comparison, sure, but when you think of it, it makes sense.
I will say this again, and I still mean it: I would never be a member of a club that wouldn't allow women and minorities to be full members. I know that rules me out of Augusta National and Cypress Point, but still: I have my standards and I won't associate myself with sexists and racists.
H, we have a very nice, if not a little small, ladies grille/lounge. I went to take a picture last evening, but there was not enough room for me to fit in the room, there were already four ladies playing cards. So, I went to the mens card room for a coffee and found 40-50 empty barcaloungers and sofas. But, the cigar smoke from 60-70 males was a little much...
Sadly, the fascists in your state and mine prevent men from stinking up a men-only room with their nasty cigars. Now, they're forced outside where they ruin my ability to enjoy a beer in the sunshine. Lovely.
Instead of letting them have their place, they force me back inside the women's lounge--as they call it at my course--where I'm stuck with bridge tables, no sun, and cranky women with whom I have little in common. So not only am I only do I get short-changed inside by my course, but my outdoor experience is ruined by the State of Ohio.
Sorry. I just needed to rant today.
I couldn't agree more - I would love to have a nice glass of wine after a round of golf with the girls. It would be wonderful to enjoy it in a comfortable surrounding... not sitting on a chair that reminds me of the church pews where I grew up.
I also have no desire to be in a mens only "pigpen" as you put it. Smoke permeating the walls. Ugh!
But alas, or should I say a-lass, our ladies lounge is also a bit tired... set up with card tables for bridge, in shades of 1990's pink and green, the bridge girls would rather play upstairs in the pre-function room. We Gal Pals usually have our 19th hole gatherings in the member's grill or upstairs in the casual dining room, or even better out on the porch.
Part of the problem, I believe, is that women aren't advocating for it.
Many...most...are satisfied with the dingy facilities and limited libations offered to them, or they don't care enough to say so. I know that from a couple of private clubs here in CT. They tend to have Men's Grills that are quite well equipped and substandard ladies lounges. A set-up that came about ages ago. However, to change anything at these clubs (the color of paint in a conference room, the texture of tile in a hallway, a menu item in the restaurant), the concerned members have to care enough to bring it to committee and advocate for it in a series of boring meeting. Most women just don't want to be bothered with that, as there are almost always alternate and appealing dining options available.
We have one local club where several women did take action, the men's grill was opened up to everyone. From what I hear though, it's rare that a women ever enters the smokey bastion. Much to the derisive chuckles of the old guard.
There are a couple of morals to the story 1) If you advocate for it, you may well get it. 2) Careful what you advocate for...you may well get it. :o)
Lucky you didn't enter that Men's locker room though. I'm sure that would have been a disappointment as well. :o)
Ah that stinks. Any segregation at golf clubs is not on. This sort of stuff is an embarrassment on the game of golf.
Well I'm embarrassed by it anyway.
I was traveling for work in Jax, FL and of course brought my clubs. Found a muni course to play and joined in on their steak dinner and scramble held Thursday nights. I played with two guys (which they loved because I hit from the red tees!) and then went in for the steak dinner (we lost by one stroke - no free dinner for me!). As I was eating my steak, I noticed I was the only woman in the group. I asked if other women played. The response - "Nope, you're the first." But I could not have asked for a greater group of guys - no one seemed shocked - and as true gentlemen they bought my beers!
OMG! I cannot believe that I missed this post while we were gone to Vegas! The 19th Hole at our club is mostly off-limits to the women, but I've been there in search of the ice that was missing from the ladies 19th Hole. However, we have some pretty gutsy women who run the Ladies Golf Association, and they keep our *space* looking pretty spiffy. Well, as much as that generation can.
That said, I'm hoping that with the passing of the *Old Guard* and the come uppance of our generation, things will eventually change to where we all (Heaven Forbid!) co-mingle.
This isn't the the early 1900's anymore and these days, our generation doesn't want to be secluded from their spouses. We actually LIKE each other, so that eliminates the need for seclusion. It's high time these practices became obsolete.
Thanks for bringing this issue to new light. Great post Heather!
It is deplorable that women are treated as second class citizens anywhere, let alone in the golf clubs. I have to say a hearty "Amen" to Charles' comments there!
One of the problems (besides the ladies' reluctance to rock the boat) is that there are fewer women who are members of clubs and this makes it more expensive per member on the women's side of things (locker room, etc).
Hopefully this will change more quickly as more women become involved.
Post a Comment